Close up of wedding flowers the day after

I’ve never been a big wedding freak. And it only got worse with age when I couldn’t even be bothered organising my own wedding! The planning! The family politics! The stress! The money! Ohhhh, the money. I remember when I was planning my own six years ago I read that the average wedding cost $30,000. It is now $50,000. FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. Fine if you have the money, but when I’d hear about people who got into crazy debt – or let their parents get into crazy debt – for one day when they could have used the money for a deposit on a house… Each to their own, I know, but I much prefered the fact we had two homes by the time we finally walked down the aisle.

So, not a big wedding freak, but as a child, I did still “play weddings” with my sisters – especially at my grandparents house who had the world’s longest driveway. We’d give The Sound of Music a run for its money in the long-train-and-aisle department. I was always the celebrant, Kristie the groom and Gretchen was the bridezilla. Way back then when that term didn’t exist and she wasn’t even a real bride, Gretchen was a bridezilla. She was the only one allowed to don Nana’s old negligee as the gown and stick a netted curtain on her head as the veil. If we’d pass a church or a wedding car, she’d do seated yoga moves not seen before in an effort to get a better look at the bride. Obsessed. Kristie and I were much more interested in riling her up by saying we’d seen the bride (even if we hadn’t and knew the car was actually empty) rather than what the bride was wearing or how many bridesmaids she had…

But, despite Gretchen’s obsession, she ended up taking a similar route to Kristie and I: we paid for it ourselves. We had strict budgets and we stuck to them. We had no more than 60 people all up. We had the ceremony and reception in the one place. We did a lot of DIY. We had fun. I’ve been to a lot of weddings and I’ve seen a lot of brides not enjoying themselves. After all the stress and planning and money, they just wanted the day to be over. So sad. I don’t see the point! And so, if you’re not up for forking out big for the big day, here are a few little things we did with Gretchen’s to keep costs down.

1. Consider holding the wedding on a weekday
Both my sisters had their weddings at the same place – The Vineyards Estate in Pokolbin, Hunter Valley (honestly, nicest most accommodating venue ever. I couldn’t fault anyone) – on a Friday.  They got the venue a whooolle lot cheaper than if they’d wanted a Saturday AND they were able to have it pretty much whenever they wanted it – no two-year’s waiting list this way like there often is for popular places! No matter when you hold your wedding, people are going to have to stop something to come: sport, work, creative time… whatever. By holding it on a weekday, yes, your entire office might have to take the day off if they’re invited, but how often is that going to happen? It’ll also mean accomodation is cheaper, flights will be cheaper – everything will be.

Invites designed by Gretchen’s brother-in-law and printed by her. Paper collage from my leftover papers used on the guest tags and vases from Eckersleys.

2. Have a hand in your own invitations
Invites are sooo easy to do. If you have access to a computer & printer – done! Download a pretty font, play around with the look of it and print onto nice cardstock – a few swirls or the same graphics in a really pale colour shadowing the text makes it something more than just words (as in Gretchen’s, above). They don’t need to have lace, diamantes or ribbons. Simple is sweet. Or, if you get someone clever to create them for you, ask them to save them disc, USB or just email you and you can print them yourself to save on the cost of printing. There are also a gazillion “DIY stationery” ranges out there now. Don’t feel you need to use exactly what they have – maybe use some of the paper or an idea and adapt to your own style.

Above: The table settings – simple but sweet. Anything more would have been too cluttered. Below: paper lanterns from Hot Dollar look great in a cluster, especially if different sizes.

3. Make good use of the venue, its facilities, features & accessories
Make use of your venue’s features and make your colours/decor etc fit the scene for an overall cohesive look. We went for a muted palette that would fit in an olive green colour as the walls of the restaurant were that colour. We used the tree which framed the background as the feature spot for the ceremony and hung the lanterns there to ensure it was seen all night thanks to the glowy battery-operated ones.
If the venue is often used for weddings, it’s going to have everything you need – just adapt it a little to suit your colour theme/style. Gretchen’s reception was held in a restaurant and they had plenty of tealight candles, fairy lights, glass vases and basic white crockery and clear glassware – the perfect canvas. The tables were going to be completely crowded with all the essentials, so we just used a few vases – mini fishbowls with a candle in the middle and a vine swirled around the inside (it was meant to be peppercorns swirled around the inside, but Gretch left at home!). For the larger vases, I wrapped some pretty patterned papers – all different, but softly coloured and within the right colour scheme (dusty pinks, greys, ivory and green to tie in the restaurant’s wall colour) – around the outside and tied up with a contrasting ribbon. We also strung fairy lights along the verandah ceiling, tealights circled the room on the windowsills and used their chairs outside of the ceremony as well as inside for dinner. They didn’t have enough of their new wicker chairs, so we used the old tan ones, dressed up with some ribbon and tissue paper pom poms. Don’t buy too much – paper, ribbon and fabrics can all be made into something pretty easily and cost-effectively.

4. DIY placecards
Just like the invites – have them made up at the same time and print them off in business-card size (or slightly larger if you’re going to trim with a border). We cut out everyone’s tags with decorative scissors from Lincraft. Because the wedding location was a vineyard, we used corks (courtesy of Gretchen’s workmate Ros who’s inlaws own a vineyard!) as the stands. Nathan sawed the bottoms off the corks and sliced a little cut for them to slip into.

5. Rethink your bonbonniere
You don’t need to banish it altogether, just rethink how you go about it. Packaging up chocolates or candies can cost (and is time consuming). We used these vases on the tables wrapped in paper (above) to hold handmade chocolates (courtesy of Dad!) which guests could scoff at any time. I did a lot of scoffing… Unfortunately I have no pics of the chocolates as they were in the cooler room when I took these pictures, tucked safely away from my greedy self the ridiculously hot, guaranteed-to-melt-chocolates-in-a-second sun. The chocolates were handmade moulded motorbikes, cars, boats and trucks (and a few hearts!) so Nathan’s interests were included. Gretch was originally thinking something with placecards, but then we came up with the chocolates instead. It worked beautifully – definitely the most attractive way to get a motorbike into a wedding!!!

ABOVE: Tissue paper pom poms made with Martha’s instructions tied to chair over tied-on ribbon. LOVE letters are mine from Adairs, wine bottles from various of friends of Gretchens stuffed with candles. These looks sooo beautiful all lit up (but burnt quickly. Might need longer-burning candles next time). BELOW: Cakes made by Gretchen’s mother-in-law; acrylic cake stand specially made by a friend, cupcake wrappers from Pink Frosting.

6. Utilise your friends and family
Arm them with the task of drinking as many bottles of wine and spirits as they possibly can in two weeks so you can use the bottles as part of your decoration!! I thought this might have made a good centrepiece, but Gretchen – wisely – said you wouldn’t really be able to see through them (der, Belinda) so we transferred the idea to the mantle instead. To stop the wax spoiling the wood, we lay down some baking paper and I stitched a heap of paper doilies together in a garland to sit on top to cover the paper. Gretchen’s mother-in-law has a hidden talent I never knew about until the day of the wedding: cake decorating! Aren’t they gorgeous? I just ordered some of these Lavish Cupcake Wrappers from Pink Frosting. I don’t actually know what I’m going to do with them yet – I have no immediate parties to plan! – but feel I need their prettiness in my kitchen cupboard…

Back to my point: everyone has a talent, skill, contact or be the owner of something that just might come in handy for your special day (within reason, obviously!). If you have a hairdresser friend, see if they’ll do your hair for the big day as their wedding gift. As well as using every one of her family members for something, Gretchen managed to use gifted wine from her friend (above) for the evening (the venue allowed this – rare, but incredibly welcome). It all depends on how you ask for things – explain you’re on a strict budget, is there anything they could do to help – even if it’s “mates rates”.

My bridesmaid accessories: clutch from Sportsgirl (for my phone and lipstick) – possibly 100 years ago; earrings from Diva

7. Create your own bouquets
Unless you’re after complete perfection there is no reason you can’t do this yourself. Plus, going to the flowers markets is sooo much fun – even at 6am; you feel like Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady (minus the gruff voice and dirt – hopefully!). My sisters and I did both mine and Kristie’s weddings and were going to do Gretchen’s too, but another friend offered to do instead for pretty much the cost of the flowers. Mine cost $150 (including a HUGE box of rose petals); Gretchen’s $300. I also think throwing a few freshly picked flowers together is so lovely – if you know someone with a beautiful garden, snip away, arrange casually and tie with a ribbon. Often they work much better than carefully arranged bouquets (well it depends on the flowers, obviously!). Lavender also looks pretty.

Before the ceremony

The end of the reception

8. Use your keepsake guest book as decoration on the day
I think it took a while for Gretchen and Kristie to get what I meant by a “guest tag tree” and these photos do NOT do it justice – it looked really beautiful when covered in the patterned-paper tags. I suggested she do this and then create a mini album of the day sticking in guest’s well-wishes as well happy snaps from the day alongside their tags. I wondered if it’d work but every single tag was written on (some quite, erm, rudely) and hung or pegged on the branch we stuck in the venue’s pot plant. And thank goodness too, because making those tags was the most time-consuming thing I did!!! I stuck the patterned paper onto similar-coloured cardstock and then cut into the shape of a luggage tag, punched the holes and tied on string. I hope the photographer got a better shot!

9. Use what you have
The night before we left for the Hunter Valley I thought of a table-seating chart: did she want one? “Sure!” Um, ok, so I got out my tag punch, fabric-covered corkboard and paper scraps and got punching. This is what we ended up with – hardly professional, but it did the trick (although somewhere along the line the best man’s tag blew away and was never to be seen again). We ended up placing it on the easel the venue had. Perfect fit!

Kristie and Gretchen in their pro hair and make-up and moi in my own. Bridesmaid dresses are from SABA.

10. Do your own hair and make-up
Most definitely not for everyone, but if you can do a good job, why not? For my own wedding I managed to leave myself only 20 minutes to do my hair and make-up, for Kristie’s wedding I had the hair and make-up artist do it only to pull out the too-curly curls and redo my eye make-up. For Gretchen’s I chose to do my own again – I was crazy busy decorating on the day anyway – but also because I don’t think I’ve ever been completely happy with what a make-up artist or hairstylist has done and I’ve been styled for a fair few photoshoots for magazines. Plus, I learnt a few tricks from my time at Cosmo… That all said, I probably should have had my hair done this time because tree climbing and sweaty running around does nothing for your hair – it wouldnt do anything so got shoved up in a messy bun five minutes before photo time!
If DIYing… Green concealer used under normal concealer will colour-correct redness; a light dusting of powder will banish shine; use a light-reflecting luminser under foundation to bounce back the flash; wash your hair the night before.
A beauty trick MUST: Whether you’re DIYing or having it done professionally, do a trial and make yourself cry. This will give you a truer idea of how it’ll hold up. A recent bride I know cried down the aisle, the glue from her false lashes irritated her eyes, caushing her eyes to weep so uncontrollably, her eyeliner, mascara and foundation flooded down her face and onto her dress. Pinch yourself, read your vows, cut up an onion – whatever. Just do it!

Ohmigosh are you still reading?!?! If so… a few more ideas for the day regardless of your budget…
* Have the bridal party’s partners sit at the bridal table. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated Gretchen doing this – there is nothing worse than not getting to sit with your partner. ESPECIALLY if you’re a bridesmaid/groomsmen for someone they don’t know all that well and therefore no noone!
* Have the mothers sign the registry as witnesses – they don’t have a lot to do on the day, usually, so this is nice way to include them.
* Have the ceremony, photographs and reception at the same place – if it’s beautiful, you might as well use that scenery in your photos. It’ll also mean you don’t need cars (I never really got this anyway – they’re barely seen?!) and your guests won’t need to traipse around the city going from one place to another.

{all images by Belinda Graham for The Happy Home}